The Wisdom of Trauma
Reflections on Somatic Experiencing
(The following is an excerpt from my newsletter sent to my email list on Oct 11, 2023. To receive future emails like this, sign up here.
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Earlier this week, I returned home from a four-day training in Somatic Experiencing.
The training is part of a three-year program where I'm studying how trauma gets stuck in the body, and how to support myself and others in discharging that stuck energy so we can go through life feeling more safe, connected, and relaxed, while retaining the ability to respond appropriately to threat.
I've learned more in these trainings than I could possibly summarize in an email, but here are some of my key takeaways from this past weekend:
Trauma is a subjective experience.
Trauma is not an event, but a response in your nervous system when the feeling of a protective boundary is breached or overwhelmed.
There are the more obvious instances of trauma, like accidents and assault, but for anyone, and especially for children, events as seemingly benign as hospitalization or being shouted at can be perceived as life-threatening and register as traumatic in the body.
The "negative" symptoms of trauma are normal manifestations of our nervous system trying to help us survive.
For any animal, it's important to be able to mobilize in response to danger. Our autonomic nervous systems (some people refer to this as the "reptile brain") have evolved to send us into a "fight or flight" mode when there's a threat that we can respond to, and if our systems sense that there's nothing we can do, we go into a "freeze", like a possum playing dead.
These responses exist on a spectrum. Flight can look like anything from restless leg syndrome to anxiety, Fight can manifest as mild irritation, rage, or the desire to create space, and Freeze can show up as brain fog, overwhelm, procrastination, a sense of numbness, or simply, "I can't".
When we are unable to fully move through those survival responses, due to any number of cognitive, contextual or cultural factors, that elevated survival energy can get "stuck" in our systems, and we might find ourselves playing out the same emotional patterns without fully understanding why.
A dysregulated nervous system can also sometimes manifest as chronic pain or tension, migraines, or digestive issues, in addition to some of the feeling patterns listed below.
A map of how our nervous system responds to safety and threat
Here's the key thing - these symptoms are all normal. Our nervous systems are just stuck in states that have evolved to help us survive, and most of us haven't had the cultural upbringing or education to help us get unstuck.
We have to be present with discomfort so we can return to our natural state of connection and ease.
A big part of why survival energy gets stuck is that we tend to avoid feeling it. We might use anything from Netflix to work to yoga to try to relax and avoid the sensations of fight/flight/freeze.
And that is so normal and so okay! We can only do the best we can with the resources available to us. However, healing happens when we slow down, feel the discomfort, and allow our bodies to metabolize and move through it.
But not all at once.
Trauma is best processed one little bite at a time.
Diving straight into the deepest darkest discomfort can be overwhelming and even re-traumatizing for our systems, so instead, we can move through uncomfortable sensations slowly, in manageable chunks, and swing back to feelings of support and safety as often as necessary.
The story is dispensable.
Instead of getting wrapped up in analyzing the narrative of what happened, it's more useful to focus on what you experience now when you recall an event.
Sensation is the language of the autonomic nervous system, and staying present with those sensations is what allows stuck energy to move through and resolve.
Healing isn't something we actively control or "do".
Our nervous systems naturally know how to discharge stuck energy - our job as healers and self-healers is simply to create the right conditions of stability and safety so that healing can happen, and we can return to feeling balanced and at rest.
I'll end with a quote from Peter Levine, the founder of SE:
"Trauma is an internal straitjacket created when a devastating moment is frozen in time. It stifles the unfolding of being, and strangles our attempts to move forward with our lives. It disconnects us from ourselves, others, nature, and spirit...
...Through the focal awareness of bodily sensation, individuals are able to access these restorative physiological action patterns. This allows the highly aroused survival energies to be safely and gradually neutralized. Unregulated arousal previously 'locked in' the neuromuscular and central nervous systems can be discharged and completed, thus preventing and resolving traumatic symptoms."
Your turn:
Your body has the natural ability to discharge stuck energy and return to connection and ease - it simply requires a container of stability and safety.
Here's a little orienting exercise you can use to begin creating more stability for your nervous system:
Wherever you are, let your eyes slowly wander to take in your surroundings. You can let your gaze go wherever it wants to go, and you might let your neck turn so you can see to the sides and behind you.
Gently, start to orient towards anything that feels safe, supportive, or pleasant to look at. Maybe notice colors, textures, and shapes. Maybe notice the door and the windows (notice that you can leave if you want to). Maybe just notice that there's no sabertoothed tiger in the room (hopefully!).
What happens in your body when you orient towards safety or pleasure? Does your breathing or heart rate shift? Does your sense of temperature or connection to the ground change? What else do you notice?
As much as it feels comfortable, allow whatever your body is experiencing to be okay. There's no wrong way to do this - you're doing perfectly.
A quote I'm pondering:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Thanks for reading! I’m glad you’re here.
